It has been many months since the invitation to join this blog arrived in my inbox. And in my excitement to rehash the bachelor events with my girlfriends, I immediately clicked right in. I remember the silent props I gave myself as I created my blogger name: Here For the Right Reasons. How clever I was.
Although I have been remiss in my participation in this amazing set of weekly posts, I feel that in light of recent events, it is high time that I get involved.
So let us begin with the very issue of my name – here for the right reasons. It is clear that our dearest Jillian is struggling with this exact problem. Who is here for the right reasons? Let me clue you all in – NOT Wes. A note to all future bachelorettes – if the person sings, cut him. He doesn’t actually like you despite pretending to have written that crooning love song just for you. “Love don’t come eeeaasssiiiieeeeeee.” Who needs American Idol when you can get your five minutes of fame on ABC and find true love? Unfortunately for Wes, we’ve heard that clip a few too many times and his potential one hit wonder is already played out.
Now, for some bizarre reason, the “here for the right reason” issue seems to plague us every season (think Graham from Deanna’s season or Ashley from Jason’s season for a few recent examples). So to help clarify how to identify the true bachelor faker, I submit to you loyal readers:
YOU KNOW HE’S HERE FOR THE WRONG REASONS WHEN:
1. He sings. I feel compelled to mention this again, but refer to previous paragraphs above. The only caveat to this rule is Tina from Lt. Andy Baldwin’s season. That rendition of the National Anthem was nothing but pure patriotism.
2. He has a girlfriend. I know this comes as a shocker, but this show is actually aired on TV! People will see whatever you do and say. Amazing concept, I know.
3. He just got out of a long relationship. Have you never heard of a rebound? Hello, break-up 101. With this particular reason, the person is either desperate or ready to throw the breakup in the ex’s face. Neither goes well for our bachelor(ette). As if after dating someone for numerous years and realizing they aren’t ready for the “next step” this person is going to find a forever mate in a 6 week competition.
4. His mother airs on the first episode. Her ticking grandmother time clock does not mean you want to fall in love with our bachelorette. It means you are desperate and can’t find someone cool on your own – probably because of your overbearing mother.
And the 5th way you know he’s here for the wrong reason (and this one drives me nuts):
5. He’s “never” been rejected before. Ok, if you have never been rejected it makes no sense that you would be on this show. First, you would have already found someone as great as Jill without the help of ABC, helicopter rides (which we’ve had too many of this season), and a load of alcohol. Second, true love is not a competition people!
Now, regardless of the fundamental flaw of this show (finding true, everlasting love in less than 6 weeks on international television), I am holding out faith that Jill will find her future husband. And we have some legit options working for us: Jake (nicest person ever), Jesse (I’ll drink wine with you), and Reed (hottie and I don’t even like glasses)!
All this being said, it brings us to our most critical topic that has been tormenting us all week: Ed’s devastating departure. What is this guy thinking leaving a reality show where he is vying for make-out sessions with ten other dudes to pursue a great career in a crappy economy? Doesn’t he care at all about his future? Did Jillian ever think that maybe he has a real J-O-B and doesn’t want to make lame cameos on daytime talk show for the next few years? Yeah, really poor decision there, Ed; way to be a responsible adult.
I did take serious pleasure though out of Chris Harrison’s cut on Jason that Jillian was more upset to see Ed go. (LOVE Chris Harrison!!) In thinking further about this, if I found a magic bachelor lamp, I think I’d first ask the genie inside to let me be Chris Harrison for a day. Just a single rose ceremony is all I want. Then I’d ask for the genie to set Ed up with LATBachelorFan.
At first, I thought my third wish would be for Dave to get anger management help before he kills Juan. But then I considered all the clips of the killing, trial, and jail check-ins that we’d receive over the next few years and I changed my mind. That could be interesting. So next I considered that perhaps my third wish should help Tanner P. The poor guy is SO paranoid after spilling the girlfriend beans to Jill, and I feel my wish might also help relieve him of his creepy foot fetish. But then I’m not sure anything can help with that, so I don’t want to waste my last wish. And thus I arrive at my final decision: my third wish is for Wes to come down with permanent laryngitis. Then maybe the other guys would like him, Jillian wouldn’t, and he’d be gone once and for all.
So as I sign of from my first blogging experience, I leave you all with high hopes for next Monday. And with aspirations for figuring out exactly who is here for the right reasons…
Although I have been remiss in my participation in this amazing set of weekly posts, I feel that in light of recent events, it is high time that I get involved.
So let us begin with the very issue of my name – here for the right reasons. It is clear that our dearest Jillian is struggling with this exact problem. Who is here for the right reasons? Let me clue you all in – NOT Wes. A note to all future bachelorettes – if the person sings, cut him. He doesn’t actually like you despite pretending to have written that crooning love song just for you. “Love don’t come eeeaasssiiiieeeeeee.” Who needs American Idol when you can get your five minutes of fame on ABC and find true love? Unfortunately for Wes, we’ve heard that clip a few too many times and his potential one hit wonder is already played out.
Now, for some bizarre reason, the “here for the right reason” issue seems to plague us every season (think Graham from Deanna’s season or Ashley from Jason’s season for a few recent examples). So to help clarify how to identify the true bachelor faker, I submit to you loyal readers:
YOU KNOW HE’S HERE FOR THE WRONG REASONS WHEN:
1. He sings. I feel compelled to mention this again, but refer to previous paragraphs above. The only caveat to this rule is Tina from Lt. Andy Baldwin’s season. That rendition of the National Anthem was nothing but pure patriotism.
2. He has a girlfriend. I know this comes as a shocker, but this show is actually aired on TV! People will see whatever you do and say. Amazing concept, I know.
3. He just got out of a long relationship. Have you never heard of a rebound? Hello, break-up 101. With this particular reason, the person is either desperate or ready to throw the breakup in the ex’s face. Neither goes well for our bachelor(ette). As if after dating someone for numerous years and realizing they aren’t ready for the “next step” this person is going to find a forever mate in a 6 week competition.
4. His mother airs on the first episode. Her ticking grandmother time clock does not mean you want to fall in love with our bachelorette. It means you are desperate and can’t find someone cool on your own – probably because of your overbearing mother.
And the 5th way you know he’s here for the wrong reason (and this one drives me nuts):
5. He’s “never” been rejected before. Ok, if you have never been rejected it makes no sense that you would be on this show. First, you would have already found someone as great as Jill without the help of ABC, helicopter rides (which we’ve had too many of this season), and a load of alcohol. Second, true love is not a competition people!
Now, regardless of the fundamental flaw of this show (finding true, everlasting love in less than 6 weeks on international television), I am holding out faith that Jill will find her future husband. And we have some legit options working for us: Jake (nicest person ever), Jesse (I’ll drink wine with you), and Reed (hottie and I don’t even like glasses)!
All this being said, it brings us to our most critical topic that has been tormenting us all week: Ed’s devastating departure. What is this guy thinking leaving a reality show where he is vying for make-out sessions with ten other dudes to pursue a great career in a crappy economy? Doesn’t he care at all about his future? Did Jillian ever think that maybe he has a real J-O-B and doesn’t want to make lame cameos on daytime talk show for the next few years? Yeah, really poor decision there, Ed; way to be a responsible adult.
I did take serious pleasure though out of Chris Harrison’s cut on Jason that Jillian was more upset to see Ed go. (LOVE Chris Harrison!!) In thinking further about this, if I found a magic bachelor lamp, I think I’d first ask the genie inside to let me be Chris Harrison for a day. Just a single rose ceremony is all I want. Then I’d ask for the genie to set Ed up with LATBachelorFan.
At first, I thought my third wish would be for Dave to get anger management help before he kills Juan. But then I considered all the clips of the killing, trial, and jail check-ins that we’d receive over the next few years and I changed my mind. That could be interesting. So next I considered that perhaps my third wish should help Tanner P. The poor guy is SO paranoid after spilling the girlfriend beans to Jill, and I feel my wish might also help relieve him of his creepy foot fetish. But then I’m not sure anything can help with that, so I don’t want to waste my last wish. And thus I arrive at my final decision: my third wish is for Wes to come down with permanent laryngitis. Then maybe the other guys would like him, Jillian wouldn’t, and he’d be gone once and for all.
So as I sign of from my first blogging experience, I leave you all with high hopes for next Monday. And with aspirations for figuring out exactly who is here for the right reasons…
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