NOOOOOOoooo!

It appears as if our worst fears are coming true. Despite having stated numerous times, on the record, in this highly influential and widely-read forum that we do NOT endorse using someone from Jillian's season as the next Bachelor, it looks like the jackasses at ABC are going to go ahead and do it anyway. From People.com:

Sources tell PEOPLE that Bachelor producers will likely select one of the three runner-ups from the recent edition of The Bachelorette for the job.

The three "runner-ups" they picture in the article are Jake, Kiptyn and Reid. I think that those pictures may be misleading though considering that technically the three runners-up were Wes, Kiptyn and Reid... and I seriously doubt Wes will ever see the small screen again unless it's on one of those "Where Are They Now?" shows and they cover how Wes had to change his name and move to El Salvador to escape the public ribbing he received after appearing on the Bachelorette.

Ok then, if we move back one more round, Michael was actually the one to get eliminated right before Wes. There has been much prophesying in the blogosphere that Michael was going to be the next Bach, so my assumption is that ABC's choice was between Michael, Reid and Kiptyn. I hope to GOD that there isn't a chance it could be Jake. That would be the most painful/awkward/terrible season of the Bachelor ever, given that he is probably the most boring and pathetic hot man to ever walk the planet. But I'm not even going to pretend to be one of those people who gets all "UGH I won't even watch the season if it's him" because all those people are liars and they end up watching anyway and commenting on every entertainment website/blog out there about how pathetic the Bachelor himself and the show in general are. And then I'm the person who feels the need to comment back and be all "If you hate the show so much then why are you watching and taking time out of your busy day to comment on this lame-ass story on usmagazine.com?" It's exhausting!

But anyhoodle, back to the business at hand - the announcement of the new Bach. Remember to watch Dancing with the Wish-They-Were-Stars on October 13th to find out which one of these als0-rans will be the new Big Man on Bachelor Campus. Unfortch that is still 18 days from now, which means I will spend a lot of time between now and then lamenting the fact that I am probably going to be a fucking 70-year old watching the 47th season of the Bachelorette/Bachelor featuring some loser that can STILL be traced back to Brad Wommack. The horror!

The Moment We've All been Waiting For

Here it is, straight from the horse's mouth (or rather, Chris Harrison's tweet):

chrisbharrisonHere it is... The new Bachelor will be announced Tuesday Oct 13th live on "Dancing with the stars" ABC!

So set your DVRs for October 13th-- I want to know if the new Bach would get your first impression rose. Maybe once the formerly-reliable-but-slipping-into-InTouch-territory-publication that is US Weekly gets the scent of new blood, it will finally allow Jilly and Ed to live happily ever after.

And, yes, I follow the greatest host of our time on Twitter. To Jeff Probst I say Emmy-schemmy, you ain't got nothing on Chris.

Current Events

Some updates from the field (i.e. my desk at work):

Despite the rumors that won't stop swirling that Ed cheated, Jillian is moving to Chicago! I obviously have no idea what the truth is about this whole situation, but if he was merely trying to keep some ladies on the back burner at home while he was on the show, more power to him. So what, he said he wasn't attracted to her behind her back and possibly boned some chicks while he was on his hiatus... everybody needs a warm body now and then. It's not that big of a deal and people need to chill. I hope it works out for them.

In other moving news, Molly is finally moving to Seattle! Vomit. I would link to the site where Jason and Molly have their blog, "Jason's Place," but you have to create an account like you're some single mother or something just to log in and read this crap, and it is not worth the effort. So I've posted it here. You can thank me later. Try to ignore the comma splices and remember that this girl is a total idiot.

The past year has been quite a whirlwind for me and Jason. There have been plenty of ups and downs, but never once, did we let the hate or criticism affect how we feel about each other or what we believe in. Amidst all of the pressure, Jason and I felt it was best to take our time and really get to know one another before making any major life decision. Though our time apart has been more than difficult, it brought our relationship to the perfect place that it is.

After a countless amount of flights, thousands of late night phone conversations, and one too many tearful goodbyes, Jason and I are very excited to say that we will finally be able to see each other every single day. I am officially moving out to Seattle at the end of the month and it couldn't come any sooner!

My move will be bittersweet. I am so sad to leave my friends and to be further away from my family, but I am absolutely ecstatic about this next adventure that Jason, Tyler, and I are about to embark on.

Thank you for all of your continued support. I hope to be posting many more blogs as we begin this next step in our lives together.

Molly

And finally... it appears as if we will be back to our regularly scheduled programming come "early 2010!" I sincerely hope that means January. I can barely contain myself... it's about time we get back into the swing of catty, bitter, overly-dramatic commentary. Can't wait!