Is There Such a Thing as Not Enough Crazy?

To all our devoted fans who missed us last week, I apologize. Sometimes pesky little things like “work” and “real life” get in the way of what’s really important in life, i.e. blogging about the Bachelor.

What I will say about last week’s episode is that I thought it was going to be much more dramatic given the lead-up to the big “scandal.” But I was pretty disappointed in how it went down, what with the minimal drama (aside from Chris Harrison almost vomiting on himself when he was telling Rozlyn to get the F out). Rozlyn didn’t even flip out or cry or really show any human emotion at all as she was being given the boot, and of course Jake, the boringest man on earth, didn’t deliver with any drama either. I wanted to see throwing of flowerpots, screaming and crying, kicking things, perhaps Chris Harrison being attacked with a shoe… you get the picture. So because the “scandal” was such a letdown, I have to say that my favorite part of last week’s ep was the thrilling appearance by Chicago, hands down one of the most amazing cheesy rock bands of all time (second only to Huey Lewis and the News, natch).

So, on to this week’s show. This is always about the time in the season when the girl that everyone loves to hate emerges. In the past we’ve been blessed with awesome hate-targets (see: Trish from Jesse’s season or Moana from Travis’s season), and I am not convinced that Vienna will be able to fill shoes that big. What I will say is that I hate her for my own personal reason, which is that her eyes are completely lopsided. I am talking a difference of at least a centimeter here. It makes me dizzy to look at her. Exhibit A:


Do you see what I am talking about? I can’t even decide which one is higher than the other; I just know that I have an intense sensation of vertigo simply trying to figure it out. Those peepers are creepy y’all – if this picture was hanging on the wall in your house, I can guarantee you those eyes would follow you back and forth as you walked across the room.

Speaking of hate-targets, I am shocked that Michelle didn’t get more heat from the other women in the house, considering she is a crazy bitch. A couple girls did suggest that she seek therapy behind her back, and I think the reason they were unwilling to be rude to her face is that they prefer not to wake up in the middle of the night to being suffocated with a pillow. And obviously Jake, in an attempt to escape any sort of Fatal Attraction “I’m not gonna be IGNORED, Jake” scenario, decided to call Michelle’s bluff and send her packing.



Perhaps my favorite part of this episode was Jake’s comment about Elizabeth being a tease and that it’s like she’s “dangling the carrot” in front of him.


I guess Jake must not like vegetables too much cause he told Elizabeth to hit the road. Good for him or whatever, but with the elimination of both Michelle and Elizabeth, I’m scared the ridiculous factor of this season is going to tank quickly if Jake keeps making good decisions and eliminating the crazies so quickly. Only time will tell. But I am sure there will be plenty of material to keep me entertained this season, such as what type of transportation they are going to introduce in addition to a roadster, a motorcycle, 2 helicopters and a plane – looks like next week it’s gonna be a BUS! Hell yes!! You know that nothing good can come of this. Put Ali’s banana clip, Gia’s j-j-j-joker face, j-j-joker face, 9 crazy bitches and 1 lame-ass man in a bus and you have got a PARTY my friend!