Every time Jake hops on his motorcycle, I can't help but wonder, is that really him? I mean, the guy is not nearly cool enough to be riding down the "PCH" on a bike with a black leather jacket and helmet. (Okay, maybe the helmet part is believable. We all know Jake is a stickler for safety as observed during his pre-flight check up. I'm sure that guy was the kid who insisted on wearing his helmet to ride his bike to school. No wonder he was Mr. Dateless.) Anyway, so here I am thinking, maybe its a stunt double that ABC has hired so that Jake can look slightly cooler even though we all know he's probably riding in a Dodge Minivan (nice and safe!) behind the RVs. And then it hit me (with a little help from a friend), that his stunt double is none other than Maxwell Caulfield. Who's Maxwell Caulfield you ask? Well, my friends, he is the leading man from the 1982 (shout out to the year I was born!) classic, Grease 2. Cool rider? C'mon. You know you have seen that movie. It put Michelle Pfeiffer on the map. So take a look and tell me there isn't an creepy resemblance between Jake and this dude.
So now that everyone has the song "Coooool Rider" stuck in their heads, let me get back to the task at hand. Ripping apart the remainder of the episode. If I had a dollar for every time Jake said the word dirty during this episode, I'd probably have about fourteen bucks. But seriously, ewww. Jake, the word dirty should not come out of your mouth. It just makes me squirm when he tries to make a sexual innuendo out of dune buggy-ing. There is nothing sexy about the word "buggy". I'm pretty sure the Amish would agree with me on that one.
I could spend time talking about the fact that Jake was in 11th grade before he kissed a girl but that wouldn't be fair because I'm pretty sure none of our first kisses were anything to write home about. Or I could launch into a full fledged attack on why I found it inappropriate for Corrie to wear spandex on her date but that would really just be my jealousy flaring up since there's no way in hell I could ever be caught dead in spandex outside of yoga class. Or I could write an entire blog post about Jake's horrendously hideous selection of ties but we'll save that for another time. No, what I'll end on is a gem from one of my fellow Bachelor watchers who despite her disdain for this show, keeps coming back week after week. During one of the most dramatic moments of Monday's episode, Jake decides not to give a rose to Kathryn or Ella, leaving him alone at a fire with a single red rose (and perhaps a single tear running down his face). And in a moment that completely overrides his balcony scene as most dramatic, Jake tosses the rose into the fire.
I could spend time talking about the fact that Jake was in 11th grade before he kissed a girl but that wouldn't be fair because I'm pretty sure none of our first kisses were anything to write home about. Or I could launch into a full fledged attack on why I found it inappropriate for Corrie to wear spandex on her date but that would really just be my jealousy flaring up since there's no way in hell I could ever be caught dead in spandex outside of yoga class. Or I could write an entire blog post about Jake's horrendously hideous selection of ties but we'll save that for another time. No, what I'll end on is a gem from one of my fellow Bachelor watchers who despite her disdain for this show, keeps coming back week after week. During one of the most dramatic moments of Monday's episode, Jake decides not to give a rose to Kathryn or Ella, leaving him alone at a fire with a single red rose (and perhaps a single tear running down his face). And in a moment that completely overrides his balcony scene as most dramatic, Jake tosses the rose into the fire.
"Forget the most dramatic rose CEREMONY ever, this is the most dramatic ROSE ever, BURNED at the STAKE."
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment