Dearest Jillian,
I agree with the overarching theme from the season premiere last night - people deserve a second chance before you judge them based solely on your first impression of them. So, just as you forgave Douchebag Dave for his embarassing, cringe-worthy first impression and gave him the First Impression Rose, so will I forgive you and your show for the sour first impression I have been left with.
Forgivings aside, Jill (or should I call you Jilli, an apparent new nickname that our buddy Chris Harrison has coined), - WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! Seriously, you sent at least 2 (maybe 3, maybe 4, depending on your opinion) guys packing who had some real potench! Obviously we know I am mainly talking about Caleb here, but Bryce was a cutie, some people seemed to like Kyle's hipster jacket/pants/shoes, and despite the fact that John H. looked at times like he wanted to eat your face, he was adorable. Big mistake(s). Huge.
I would think that in a group of THIRTY men, when all you need to do is send home TEN, this job should be pretty easy. If it were me, I would just get hammered - a task you seemed to excel in, actually - and let my beer goggles do the choosing... as in, just send home the 10 guys who, even once you are significantly drunk, you still don't want to make out with. Easy enough right? But I will give you props for giving Stephen the boot... I don't know if there's enough wine or vodka or even roofies that would get me drunk enough to want to make out with that guy. Receding hairline, inflated unnecessary ego and an annoying New York accent? That's a dealbreaker, ladies!
Anyway, I guess the damage is done and I'll quit dwelling on the past (but if you ever speak to Caleb again, seriously tell him to email me - dcbachelorfans (at) gmail (dot) com). Besides the fact that you're left with half the male population of Texas and two guys named Tanner, I do think there are some gems in the group. So don't eff this one up, ok? I don't care how nice or sweet a guy is, you should still want to dry hump him in a hot tub, right? Let's keep the rest of the hotties around - no need to make a Deanna-esque mistake and end up with an unattrative stoner just because he was nice to you. Here is our list, in no order of preference, of favorites for you:
Ed - Seemingly innocent and sweet, and easy on the eyes
Jake - Despite the fact he is a pilot and one member of our group seems to think pilot = cheater, he is a hottie
Jesse - Chris O'Donnel lookalike AND the owner of a vineyard? Yes, please
Mark - Well, we just really like pizza
...And that's all I can really remember at this point because by the end of the show we were in the midst of a heated debate about what is better, Triscuits or Wheat Thins? Unfortunately this debate ended in a tie and we STILL do not have a definitive answer. Feel free to weigh in with your vote and set the record straight.
Until next week,
LATBachelorFan
I agree with the overarching theme from the season premiere last night - people deserve a second chance before you judge them based solely on your first impression of them. So, just as you forgave Douchebag Dave for his embarassing, cringe-worthy first impression and gave him the First Impression Rose, so will I forgive you and your show for the sour first impression I have been left with.
Forgivings aside, Jill (or should I call you Jilli, an apparent new nickname that our buddy Chris Harrison has coined), - WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! Seriously, you sent at least 2 (maybe 3, maybe 4, depending on your opinion) guys packing who had some real potench! Obviously we know I am mainly talking about Caleb here, but Bryce was a cutie, some people seemed to like Kyle's hipster jacket/pants/shoes, and despite the fact that John H. looked at times like he wanted to eat your face, he was adorable. Big mistake(s). Huge.
I would think that in a group of THIRTY men, when all you need to do is send home TEN, this job should be pretty easy. If it were me, I would just get hammered - a task you seemed to excel in, actually - and let my beer goggles do the choosing... as in, just send home the 10 guys who, even once you are significantly drunk, you still don't want to make out with. Easy enough right? But I will give you props for giving Stephen the boot... I don't know if there's enough wine or vodka or even roofies that would get me drunk enough to want to make out with that guy. Receding hairline, inflated unnecessary ego and an annoying New York accent? That's a dealbreaker, ladies!
Anyway, I guess the damage is done and I'll quit dwelling on the past (but if you ever speak to Caleb again, seriously tell him to email me - dcbachelorfans (at) gmail (dot) com). Besides the fact that you're left with half the male population of Texas and two guys named Tanner, I do think there are some gems in the group. So don't eff this one up, ok? I don't care how nice or sweet a guy is, you should still want to dry hump him in a hot tub, right? Let's keep the rest of the hotties around - no need to make a Deanna-esque mistake and end up with an unattrative stoner just because he was nice to you. Here is our list, in no order of preference, of favorites for you:
Ed - Seemingly innocent and sweet, and easy on the eyes
Jake - Despite the fact he is a pilot and one member of our group seems to think pilot = cheater, he is a hottie
Jesse - Chris O'Donnel lookalike AND the owner of a vineyard? Yes, please
Mark - Well, we just really like pizza
...And that's all I can really remember at this point because by the end of the show we were in the midst of a heated debate about what is better, Triscuits or Wheat Thins? Unfortunately this debate ended in a tie and we STILL do not have a definitive answer. Feel free to weigh in with your vote and set the record straight.
Until next week,
LATBachelorFan
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LATBachelorFan, how can you fail to mention the tragedy that was the elimination of Bill Bro. That guy was a) astonishingly short and b) tv gold. I can't believe ABC let her kick him to the curb, it's not every day you come across a fitness model looking for love.
ReplyDeleteTriscuit, of course. Love that flaky deliciousness.
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