Daddy issues anyone?

Just so that our fine readers all over the country (i.e. where our moms live) can somewhat appreciate what all of the DC Bachelor Fans have been through this week, I submit exhibit A: My Car.

And like my pal, LAT Bachelor Fan, this weather has not only made me stir crazy, it has given me an inordinate amount of time to plan my post (aside from the time I have spent watching ridiculous YouTube videos and reading a back log of "forwards" I have received over the past 3 years that have previously been sent to the Archive folder. (Thank goodness for gmail and my 7421 MB of memory. I will never delete ANYTHING.)

So before getting into my thoughts on the Bachelor, I'd like to give a shout out to a certain PA Bachelor Fan and this clip she shared with me. I'm sure you're one of the 158 million people who have already seen it, but if not, you're in for a treat: British kids are hilarious.

Well enough of the sidetracking, time to get down to business. I'm no psychologist, but did anyone else find it interesting that the world's most boring Bachelor (i.e. Jake) has chosen 3 girls from "broken homes"? I mean, either jake is trying to fix everyone or these girls are trying to find the security in Jake that they didn't get from their own fathers. Exhibit 1: Gia. Stepfather who barely said one word. But who would when your wife can be so charming with the spoken word? Yikes. I haven't heard New York accents like that since I watched Jersey Shore (good call LAT). Example 2: Ali. Did anyone see a father present? (P.S. How bad did everyone feel for Ali's obviously not as cute, smart or successful sister? My heart always goes out to the sibling who got the bad end of the gene pool. I know how that can be. Has anyone met my poor brother?) Example 3: Vienna. Her issues are different. As opposed to the other two who simply don't have fathers present, Vienna is merely obsessed with her father. Obsessed would be the correct word. When I saw those tears tumbling down his 'stache, I nearly lost it. Really!? Your daughter has been gone for, what, 3 weeks? Perhaps if you had sent her to college or let her out of the trailer you've been living in, it wouldn't be so emotional to see her after a brief hiatus. So enough of my psychoanalysis, I mean, we all have our baggage, but we all know that crazy girl from the broken home doesn't get the man. Remember Moana? Or Naomi? Tragic but true. Statistics don't lie.

And finally, before I head to bed only to wake up to another 10 inches of snow, I will end with just a few thoughts. Jake has this ridiculous shit-eating grin whenever the girls complement him and he basically nods his head in agreement as they tell him how great he is. It makes me want to barf. And die laughing all at the same time. Pathetic. I haven't met Jake's parents but something tells me the Pavleka's would not get along with Gia's mom or Vienna's dad. However, I could picture them sitting down to grace before supper with Tenley's family. Did anyone notice how young Tenley's mom looked? I mean, I know she was kind of nerdy but still, great genes. Barely a wrinkle on that woman's face. I'm jealous. Listening to Ali whine made me want to grab her chin in my hands and shake it, just like my momma used to do to me when I was misbehaving. Grow up. I'm embarrassed for her. If this whole thing was just a ploy to get herself to be the next Bachelorette, I will promise here and now that I will boycott the next season. Don't tempt me. If one more season can be tied back to Brad Wommack, I'm done.