Where Do We Draw the Line?

How many is too many? Sometimes it's hard to tell, and it definitely depends on what we're having-- but with all things in life: chocolate, men, exercise-- there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough. Pearls of conventional wisdom are designed to let us know when to say stop: when the fat lady sings or when the cows come home. I'd like to add another one to this list, granted it's not as catchy or concise, but here it is: When you've been jilted on national TV, your parents have all but disowned you, and your 15 minutes are up. Take note, Melissa, this means you.

We thought it was a little suspicious that you appeared on the Bachelor after already appearing on the CMT Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders show. We thought, for a second, that you could be on the show to launch a singing, acting, socialite career like so many former contestants-- By the way, how's that working out for you, Monkey Llamas?!? But, you won us over because you really seemed to like Jason and you were "in it for the right reasons." It now seems like you may have fooled us, because I keep hearing reports that you are going to be on this season of Dancing with the Stars. Just to clarify your "number": Cowboys was one, the Bachelor was two, and Dancing makes three. Screw the "to each his own" stuff, three is just too many. You've crossed the invisible line into reality show sluttiness.

If I were you, I wouldn't count on too many sympathy votes. I just can't feel sorry for someone who is clearly exploiting our deeply rooted belief that it is possible to find true love on television only to gain personal fame. In the words of an eloquent former statesman: "Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me two times --- well, you aint going to fool me again."