Lies, Damn Lies.

If Brad Womack were Pinocchio, his nose would be so long at this point that none of these women would be willing to scale a wall to make out with him. To be fair, it wasn’t just Brad that perpetuated the lies this episode – the ladies had their share of deception too.

It all started when ABC maliciously lead me to believe that Chantal gave Michelle a black eye… Or at the very least I expected Michelle to accuse Chantal of giving her a black eye. But no, through clever editing and obliqueness, ABC fooled me again. And, while it wasn’t an outright LIE, per se, I know at least one honor code that would consider “MISREPRESENTATION” to be equivalent to a lie and ABC would be out on the first plane flight back home to sunny California.

My favorite lie of the evening happened pretty early, when Michelle sat down to ice her mysterious black eye- with a popsicle, no less. About three ladies reassured her that “oh, it looks so much better.” LIES! The girl still looked like she had “a misunderstanding” with a john. And not in the “George Costanza slaps Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, but she will persevere because hookers have a heart of gold” way. The effect was probably more created by the clothes and trashy make-up, but either way, it didn’t look “better”.

The other tall tales I noticed last night were these:

- Michelle told Brad it was Ok for him to go talk to Ashley H. at the beginning of “her day”. This does not look like the face of a woman who is “ok”:

- Brad said he admired Stacey the Bartender for being honest about cheating. Then he refuses to give her a rose. So much for all that admiration.

- Brad told his Life Coach that he was uncomfortable with all the kissing. Uh, I’ve never been in therapy, but I’m pretty sure its meaningless if you’re not going to be honest with your therapist.

- Chantal telling the camera that she was prepared to see Brad dating other women. Oh, honey, you’ve been crying for three weeks straight. I’m not sure that word means what you think it means.

- The redhead whose name I didn’t bother to learn tells America that her dad will be “very proud of her”. Does it count as a lie if she’s telling it to herself?

With all the lies flying around last night, it’s hard to know what to believe anymore. I guess I’ll just have to fall back on belief that you CAN find love on T.V.